In the nood

CHIQUITA

Anonymous
48" x 24", oil on canvas
MOBA #202

Oblivious to the advancing lava flow, the lovely iconic tropical spokeswoman calmly gives us an alluring wink of the eye as all hell breaks loose behind her.

I'm Chiquita banana and I've come to say
Bananas have to ripen in a certain way
When they are fleck'd with brown and have a golden hue
Bananas taste the best and are best for you
You can put them in a salad
You can put them in a pie-aye
Any way you want to eat them
It's impossible to beat them
But, bananas like the climate of the very, very tropical equator
So you should never put bananas in the refrigerator

© lyrics by Garth Montgomery, music Ken MacKenzie, 1944 

DISAPPOINTMENT

Anonymous
32" x 24", oil on canvas
Donated by Doug Shive (purchased by Kurt Beers, AKA the Juice, New Castle, MD Farmer�s Market)
MOBA #301

Their sunburns, and the empty champagne bottle help explain the young man's regrettable inability to stay awake on the first night of his honeymoon. His new wife gazes blankly, wondering, "Is that all there is?"

From-Museum of Bad Art: Masterworks, by Michael Frank and Louise Reilly Sacco, Ten Speed Press 

FREEDOM BEACH

Anonymous
16" x 20", oil on canvas
Purchased by M. Frank at a Boston thrift store
MOBA #384

This hastily executed impressionist painting effectively reminds us that, even if only optional, clothing is advisable when practicing yoga on a tropical beach to avoid hatha sunburn. 

GILDED NUDE

Anonymous
18" x 24", oil on canvas
Donated by Ian Michelson (New Zealand)
MOBA #344

The viewer is struck immediately by the youthful female subject's oversized arm.

From-Museum of Bad Art: Masterworks, by Michael Frank and Louise Reilly Sacco, Ten Speed Press 

GINA'S DEMONS

Gina
28" x 20", oil on canvas
Donated by M. J. Maccardini & Erin Howe
(purchased at a flea market near Northampton, MA)
MOBA #262

Frightening non-kosher demons haunt this blonde, blue-eyed beauty in a see-through blouse. Her world is cracking apart at the edges, but her careful hairdo and makeup show us that she knows it's important to keep up appearances.

From-Museum of Bad Art: Masterworks, by Michael Frank and Louise Reilly Sacco, Ten Speed Press 

HALF POLYNESIAN, HALF NORWEGIAN

Roger Hanson (2003)
36" x 10", acrylic on canvas
Donated by the artist
MOBA #197

Her bright blond hair, the posy offered in clasped hands and her simple smile suggest sweetness and youth. But her brown body with round hips, broad shoulders, and forearms that seem ready to push the frame aside belong to a strong woman. She is a natural blond. 

HEAD FROM HELL (NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN)

Tina Thomas, created in Austin, Texas, ~ 1986-1990
Acrylic on canvas
Donated by Susan Grant

A blood curdling scream from the fires below. A lost soul cries out in agony, eyes upward, forever to be taunted by the reclining though erect satyr, a spitting image of the Barberini Faun, who is just out of reach. This brilliant reworking of one of Art's oldest subjects -- recasting the cloven hoofed, behorned one into a youthful virile stud is a refreshingly original treatment of an age-old theme. 

JAMES THE MALE MODEL

Anonymous
20" x 16", oil on canvas
Purchased by M. Frank at a Boston thrift store
MOBA #423

Humiliated by being asked to pose wearing nothing but a Davy Crockett hat, James reflected upon the fact that his modeling career was dwindling and made a silent vow to stop eating sweets and to renew his membership at the gym. 

LADY WITH BIG PANTS

Anonymous
4ft x 5.5ft, oil on canvas
MOBA #422

Reclining on a daybed in a pose reminiscent of Goya's "Nude Maja" , the faceless Reubenesque model proudly displays her very large, and perfectly aligned, feet.

LIFE ON A BARSTOOL

Anonymous
60" x 36", oil on canvas
Purchased by M. Frank at a Boston yard sale
MOBA #222

A pretty face or skinny figure, which is more attractive? Are looks everything? The artist peels away layers to find what's inside is actually not more important. Through teeth clenched around a black rose, she spits her response, "Set 'em up Joe." 

LONG ARM OF THE LAW

Farleigh Goss
2' x 4' , Oil on canvas
Purchased by M. Frank at a Boston thrift store
MOBA #263

Bare-breasted blind Lady Justice is portrayed here in a variation on a traditional subject. Rather than cover her face with a blindfold, the artist depicted her with no eyes. While she is often seen holding the scales of justice, a sword, and/or a book, she is in this painting juggling a ball of dreaded kryptonite in her ample hand at the end of the long arm of the law.

From-Museum of Bad Art: Masterworks, by Michael Frank and Louise Reilly Sacco, Ten Speed Press 

MRS. SPOCK

K. Madden
18" x 9", oil on canvas
MOBA #302

The naked young woman boldly turns to gaze at the viewer. She holds a flower of precisely the same color as her piercing blue eyes. 

NOW AND THEN

Anonymous
38" x 38", acrylic on canvas
MOBA #128

Using a double-exposure technique, the artist explores the impact of a rigid world on the female body and spirit over time. The use of a single strong color for walls, chair, nails, and lips comments on the here and now. Yet the past is omnipresent. The outline of a hidden door to the left of the yellow vertical beam bleeds through, and on the subject's face, the smile of former times lingers on paler lips.

From-The Museum of Bad Art: Art Too Bad to be Ignored, by Tom Stankowicz and Marie Jackson, A MOBA Publication 

OLE OLE, OLE OLE

Pam
20" x 16", acrylic on canvas
MOBA #453

After 4 days and 3 nights all inclusive partying on the beach, Betty could not imagine flying home and going to the office

PAULINE RESTING

Anonymous
21.5" x 48", acrylic on canvas
Rescued from Boston trash by Scott Wilson
MOBA #78

The cares of the day slip away and the first flush of sleep brings color to Pauline's innocent cheek.

From-The Museum of Bad Art: Art Too Bad to be Ignored, by Tom Stankowicz and Marie Jackson, A MOBA Publication 

SAD TEENAGER

Vlademar Cher, Sweden (2005)
9" x 12", pastel crayon and acrylic pain
Donated by the artist
MOBA #438

A young woman is portrayed lying on her stomach with her hands on her chin and her legs kicking in the air in this portrait of "teenage ennui". She seems to have no joie de vivre. She also has no pants.

Working many years later with totally different media and probably on a different continent, Cher may have employed the same model as the anonomous artist who painted Sad Baby (MOBA #259) 

SELF PORTRAIT

Fred Stein
5' x 3', Oil on Canvas
Donated by the artist
MOBA #332

In this life sized self-portrait, the artist portrays himself as an immodest street performer in the City by the Bay.
His canine facial features make this painting reminiscent of Mari Newman's "Bone Juggling Dog In a Hula Skirt" (MOBA #214). 

SILICONE CLOUDS

Anonymous
36" x 36", oil on canvas
Left anonymously at MOBA
MOBA #419

Perky Reubenesque clouds float in a cerulean sky.

From-Museum of Bad Art: Masterworks, by Michael Frank and Louise Reilly Sacco, Ten Speed Press 

A Day at the Clothing Optional Beach

SUNDAY ON THE POT WITH GEORGE

Anonymous
37" x 22", acrylic on canvas
Donated by Jim Schulman
MOBA #76

Can the swirling steam melt away the huge weight of George's corporate responsibilities? This pointillist piece is curious for meticulous attention to fine detail, such as the stitching around the edge of the towel, in contrast to the almost careless disregard for the subject's feet.

From-The Museum of Bad Art: Art Too Bad to be Ignored, by Tom Stankowicz and Marie Jackson, A MOBA Publication 

THE BETTER TO SEE YOU, MY DEAR

Anonymous
20" x 16", oil on canvas
Acquired in a barter with bARTerSauce.com
MOBA #416
Attempting to combat the pervasive sense of isolation rampant in modern society, the artist presents a bold post-cubist image that compels the viewer to make direct eye contact. 
From - Museum of Bad Art: Masterworks, by Michael Frank and Louise Reilly Sacco, Ten Speed Press 

THE CONTORTIONIST

A. LivLaing Bradford
14" x 18", acrylic on canvas
Purchased by M. Frank at a Boston thrift store
MOBA #455

Looking somewhat uncomfortable, the lithe female subject is confined to the shape of the canvas in this revealing portrait. 

THE CUPBOARD WAS BARE

Pangorda
30" x 24", mixed media
MOBA #145

In this complex narrative, the artist addresses how we perceive and the fear of how we are perceived. The faceless female form hesitates. Terror grips the little dog. His left paw pushes, as if to say "you go first." The largest figure lurks behind, holding his pet, but not his mate. The choice of spectacles is confirmation that the artist is conflicted at the prospect of emerging. Yet when the hinged door is opened, we find he has nothing to hide.

From - The Museum of Bad Art: Art Too Bad to be Ignored, by Tom Stankowicz and Marie Jackson, A MOBA Publication 

THE ITCH

Anonymous
28" x 22", oil on canvas
Donated by Paul Abercrombie
MOBA #440

A lovely young woman with thick raven-black hair is portrayed simultaneously scratching her right side with her left hand and the back of her neck with her right. She appears to be "double-jointed". Her blissful smile possibly indicates temporary relief from a tortuous case of scabies. 

THE LAST DANCE

Unknown - possibly Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec
60" x 60", oil on canvas
Anonymous donation
MOBA catalog #449

This may be a late work by iconoclastic French painter Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec. The painting features his trademark subject of the Moulin Rouge dancer in her feathered head-piece and colorful dress. With a stylized Montmartre and the white domed Basilica of Sacre Coeur in the background surrounded by the lights of the rich music hall scene, the artist captures that agonizing moment when an aging cancan dancer removes her dance shoes for the last time. In her turned head and sorrowful expression the artist depicts the inner pain and deep sense of loss that the subject feels in this final act as a dancer. The green tint of her skin symbolizes the envy she feels for the young girl she imagines taking her place on stage.
"The Last Dance" is not only a candid glimpse into the sadness at the end of the dancer's time in the spotlight but a personal admission to the fast approaching end of this unique artist's own career. He paints not in his trademark poster style, but borrows heavily from his contemporary and yet unknown Vincent van Gogh with heavy unblended brush strokes and from the younger Wassily Kandinsky with swirling color that foreshadows the new modern abstract movement that will follow Lautrec's death. On his deathbed he is rumored to have spoken these immortal words, "La vie est trop courte" ("life is too short") as statement on his imminent death and a personal joke about his stature.
Interpretated by Bob Sepulveda 

WINGED PIXIE

Otto
24" x 8", acrylic on canvas
Donated by Sarah Derven
MOBA #229

Holy Gossamer Wings, Batman, what have we here! A diminutive dancing body, taut with energy, frantic in its attempts to flee an over active mind. The facial expression recalls a deer caught in the headlights. The limbs stretched to twig-like hands, ready to snap. The artist captures the tension of frantic activity coupled with indecision in this portrait of the incredible shrinking woman. 

WOMAN RIDING CRUSTACEAN

Anonymous
12" x 16", oil on canvas
Donated by Linda L. Carrubba
lcarrubba@wcrinet.org
May 18, 2008
Found in Greenwich Village in 1980's by Josh Einhorn
MOBA #448
Possibly inspired by Debra Winger riding a mechanical bull in Urban Cowboy (1980), this image of what appears to be a blow-up doll mounted atop a giant lobster looks unfinished. It may be a study for a larger, hopefully more erotically realized, work.